And forever we will remember that tragic saturday that has gone down in our history

My heart has been heavy laden over the last few weeks, I feel like I'm just coming out of a deep, dark cloud. I haven't been able to bring myself to write such a deserving entry of the horrors that went down on that frightful Saturday this month. But every day I watched, I listened, I absorbed those images, those stories, the devastation, the loss, but also the stories of survival, of courage, of strength, of hope.

I have been touched by the humanitarian of Australians, of those further afield internationally. The love, the support, the random acts of kindness, the generosity of strangers, the simple power of a human touch reaching out to those who needed it during the harrowing times.

I felt helpless, here was I surrounded by so much tragedy, my inner desire just wanting to get in the car and go and help, my mind knowing that this was not possible, my heart aching in wanting to it so very much.

The sky from our home that fateful Saturday afternoon

I felt empowered though to do something, my first point of call that very next Monday morning was to our local politician in our country town, and with that very first step, things were in motion. I have been holding onto a cherished container of clothes, those so precious and full of memories, it made my heart ache to think that this was the time to say goodbye to them, to release and let go, but my inner desire said that here were beautiful things that people needed and I took them and gave and I hope (well I know) that in some small way, I have helped. Likewise I had beautiful towels and sheets that have just sat on standby in our linen, I gave them too. I volunteered myself to Red Cross, to the Go Volunteer organisation, I know that they were inundated, but I was prepared to help in any given way. Alarmingly I even put myself entirely out my comfort zone and rang Colgate Australia that same day to see if they were donating items of personal hygiene. I would not have done these things, but I felt a driving need, a force you could say, to do so. I closely followed the ABC blog, I emailed people in areas that I felt could help, I continued to spread the word, I think we all did, and I think that for once, that people forgot about themselves, they focused on a good in our world, they strived towards helping, they became selfless, an in many ways from a spiritual sense, the soul started to repay its debts to humanity, to human kind, I'm sure that many moved into higher planes of spiritualism. I did, I really felt proud to be Australian.

The road is long to recovery, the donations from far a field have been amazing, the generosity, however we need to remember and ensure that the support is ongoing, that its' just not now, that it continues until lives start to be rebuilt along the way.

I sat anxiously also awaiting news of kindred friends in stricken areas, I prayed, and even today, while not as forecast out there in the media, there are still hidden populations amongst forested areas at risk. My own good friend has come home from one of those areas just this last weekend, the fate of their town will be known by this weekend, the fire front approaching, crossing containment lines and adorning itself in glory of the fuel provided by dry undergrowth. They had a chance to make that decision to go, with well and truly enough time, so many sadly, and tragically did not have that chance.

These events and talk of Ash Wednesday made me stop and reflect and to remember what happened then too. Ash Wednesday, although I was a lot younger, has personal significance as that was a time, we experienced and felt the "loss" of our own, Lt. William Marsden of the Panton Hill Brigade was my cousin (my father's, sisters, son.) You can read about those events that lead to this tragic day HERE

I was received this today from a family relative, another story to add and remember to this time.

Call me an idiot if you like. On the evening before the awful fire day I was walking with a friend in the Dandenongs on Paddys Track (training for the Milford Track) - we came across two female police officers on horseback wanting our names, addresses and dates of birth and descriptions of anyone else we had seen on the track - they were looking for firebugs so that should have given us the hint

The next morning it was 23 degrees and no wind so
at 7am we walked in the Dandenongs again, this time the 1000 steps. Hoards of
others doing it as a lot of people use it as a training track. By the time we
were back at our cars at 8am the park rangers had put up signs recommending that
people choose other places to train that day. They should have closed the track
completely so no one could get in as everyone was walking straight past the
signs and by then the temperature was well into the 30's. In hindsight of course
we shouldn't have been there at all

Last week I was walking beside the Yarra at Bulleen
and came across the Ivanhoe fire - that's a very large area and it was still
smoking so there was a fire crew still working on it.

After hearing the following story I will stay away from fire for a while. You have probably heard many fire stories but picture this. Friends of my boss at the East Melbourne Group lived 3kms up the mountain from Kinglake. They couldn't see flames but the smoke and noise suddenly was so bad they know it was just over the hill and this was the end. They phoned their adult children to say goodbye and everyone of course was hysterical. The woman said they were getting into the bath eventhough there
was no water because the power was out so they couldn't use the pump. Her
daughter told her to empty the contents of the freezer onto her. She felt like
an idiot sitting in the bath surrounded by a leg of lamb, ice cream etc and
thought she would freeze to death before the fire would get her. Very soon
however the house was full of smoke and the roof on fire. She asked her husband
for a spoon but he couldn't open doors because by now the door handles were red
hot - she wanted to eat the icecream to soothe her burning throatThey looked out the bathroom window
and everything had gone (including one car) however the 4WD was untouched so
they jumped out of the window and ran for the car and drove the 3kms (over
fallen trees) into town - by then the fire had passed through Kinglake and burnt
the entire town but they could at least then wait for emergency help. They
returned a few days later to a pile of ash and she put her hand into the hole
where her jewellery case had been - all metal had melted but the diamond from
her engagement ring was still shining.